I'm back.
Hi to all those who have been so kind to provide feedback on this site. I took a little diversion recently and so have been away from this. The diversion was so extensive, that for some reason, my user account got seperated from my blogs.
I wrote to the good people at Google and then, as if by magic, my blogs came back. So I'm back, too.
I want to continue my explorations on the subject of how anorexia responds to friendship. But first, I will whet your appetite with something to consider: support networks as a basis for mate selection.
I know, I know. Pretty deep, man. But after a recent trip to Vietnam, I'm convinced that Western Civilization needs to rethink the family unit again.
Consider this then: In America, we rarely eat dinner at the table together as a family. Dad is working late, one of the kids is with her friends, the other is pounding away at homework, and the little one is the only kid to show up at the dinner table. Who has time to eat at the table together? And don't forget that fast food thing.
When I was in Vietnam, I stayed with a couple of families. Eating together was a regular, scheduled event. They discussed family stuff all the time. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing. No one was excluded from the dinner table.
This brings me to my next point: intimacy. While I was there, I observed families and friends talking together in large groups. There were several conversations going on at once. And this could go on for hours. Vietnamese families spend a lot of time together, talking together, doing things together, living together. Yes, they have their time apart, but they spend a lot of their time together.
A family that spends that much time together is a huge resource when it comes to mate selection. Imagine the kind of referrals you could get in a family like that. Now compare that with our electronic dating services on the internet. That's like comparing a picnic with a creep show.
In the American version, kids are raised, mostly apart from the parents with nannies becoming the norm for the upper middle class. Parents haven't got much time for their kids, and thus no clue about their disposition. When the kids are young adults, they don't have rapport with the other kids, or the parents, so when they start looking for a mate, they are essentially lost. Who do they talk to? How do they get referrals?
On the other hand, imagine the Vietnamese family unit. They spend so much time together, each kid has a pretty good idea of what the other kids like, who they're thinking about and who they're seeing. Each kid has a group of friends they hang out with. If a young adult is dating someone who is not being true when it's expected, that news will get back to the family fast. That assumes, of course, that talking about it is not prohibited.
Understand that this is not to say that their system is perfect, but it appears to be much better than ours in terms of socialization. They place a priority on the family and the results are fairly obvious in terms of mate selection and success. Their divorce rates are lower than ours. And Asian-American marriages have shown lower divorce rates, too.
As an anorexic, I really wanted to get away from the families with their constant talking, especially when I couldn't speak the language. But when they spoke English to me, they were enthusiastic, and they wanted to know more. Everywhere I walked, young people wanted to say "hello". They wanted to speak English with me. They always smiled and they laughed at my jokes, too.
I was glad to be there and plan to go again.
Mr. Scott
I wrote to the good people at Google and then, as if by magic, my blogs came back. So I'm back, too.
I want to continue my explorations on the subject of how anorexia responds to friendship. But first, I will whet your appetite with something to consider: support networks as a basis for mate selection.
I know, I know. Pretty deep, man. But after a recent trip to Vietnam, I'm convinced that Western Civilization needs to rethink the family unit again.
Consider this then: In America, we rarely eat dinner at the table together as a family. Dad is working late, one of the kids is with her friends, the other is pounding away at homework, and the little one is the only kid to show up at the dinner table. Who has time to eat at the table together? And don't forget that fast food thing.
When I was in Vietnam, I stayed with a couple of families. Eating together was a regular, scheduled event. They discussed family stuff all the time. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing. No one was excluded from the dinner table.
This brings me to my next point: intimacy. While I was there, I observed families and friends talking together in large groups. There were several conversations going on at once. And this could go on for hours. Vietnamese families spend a lot of time together, talking together, doing things together, living together. Yes, they have their time apart, but they spend a lot of their time together.
A family that spends that much time together is a huge resource when it comes to mate selection. Imagine the kind of referrals you could get in a family like that. Now compare that with our electronic dating services on the internet. That's like comparing a picnic with a creep show.
In the American version, kids are raised, mostly apart from the parents with nannies becoming the norm for the upper middle class. Parents haven't got much time for their kids, and thus no clue about their disposition. When the kids are young adults, they don't have rapport with the other kids, or the parents, so when they start looking for a mate, they are essentially lost. Who do they talk to? How do they get referrals?
On the other hand, imagine the Vietnamese family unit. They spend so much time together, each kid has a pretty good idea of what the other kids like, who they're thinking about and who they're seeing. Each kid has a group of friends they hang out with. If a young adult is dating someone who is not being true when it's expected, that news will get back to the family fast. That assumes, of course, that talking about it is not prohibited.
Understand that this is not to say that their system is perfect, but it appears to be much better than ours in terms of socialization. They place a priority on the family and the results are fairly obvious in terms of mate selection and success. Their divorce rates are lower than ours. And Asian-American marriages have shown lower divorce rates, too.
As an anorexic, I really wanted to get away from the families with their constant talking, especially when I couldn't speak the language. But when they spoke English to me, they were enthusiastic, and they wanted to know more. Everywhere I walked, young people wanted to say "hello". They wanted to speak English with me. They always smiled and they laughed at my jokes, too.
I was glad to be there and plan to go again.
Mr. Scott
posted by Mr. Scott at
10:02 PM
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